Eugh! What a morning and what an awful ‘run’
I know that I have to run a 10km this week as I’ve entered another @virualrunneruk event and illness has meant I’ve left it right to the last minute. Laid in bed this morning I had no motivation whatsoever to get up – I just could not be bothered to go for a run. I laid there for an hour and slowly, having read other blogs and some of my own Strava comments, a small amount of motivation came from somewhere. It wasn’t much but it was enough for me to get up and get some running gear on.
I should have known my run was doomed the moment I couldn’t find my phone holder or headphones!
After a glass of water and with phone in hand – literally – I headed out. Walked and stretched to warm up and then started with a gentle jog, speeding up as I went.
My feet felt heavy, my calves were tight and my head was already telling me to stop, to turn round and get back into my bed. My first stop was at 1.8km and, for a minute or so, I just walked backwards and forwards not knowing whether I should carry on or head back home.
I was proud of myself at that point but soon went downhill as I found myself finding other excuses not to go on. Water was the first excuse. I hadn’t any with me – I couldn’t possibly go 10km or 5km without water despite having done it several times already. Knees – my knee was tweaking and I would need to stop to rest it. Sweat spots – actually a real pain between my boobs and something I need to resolve but not necessarily there and then. Mud – lots of it and very slippery in places. To save my ankles I couldn’t possibly take another step.
“Get to 3km” I kept telling myself, “then you can turn round and run home, you’ll have completed a 5km and have another 1km to walk/cool down”.
I was almost at 3km when I turned round – and there he was. A stranger in wellies walking straight across the field. He didn’t really look like any of the local farmers nor did he have a dog. My imagination went into overdrive and I no longer felt safe. I started walking. I didn’t want to get myself in front of him for fear of being attacked from behind. Then I worried about the dirt path I have to use to run home, covered with trees and very few people around. It was no good – I now felt fear – I rang my husband and he came to pick me up.
I still don’t know who that man was. Poor bloke was probably someone that was just taking an early morning stroll not someone looking to murder a passing jogger but once there was feeling of fear I didn’t want to go on.
I’m sat here now feeling disappointed but knowing I made the right decision. Safety is and always will be number 1.
I’m disappointed I wasn’t anywhere near completing a 5km this morning and yet, I’m only 3 weeks away from taking part in Age Concern’s 10km Leeds Abbey Dash.
I’m disappointed that my motivation seems below zero at the moment. I’m finding it difficult to get out and about with dark, wet mornings and even darker, miserable nights. It worries me that I have to train for Disney’s #GlassSlipperChallenge next winter so I can’t let the weather stop me from getting out and about.
I’m out of routine having missed a PT session and two running club sessions. Once I get my head in the right space again I hope things will click back into place.
I see how well fellow tweeting runners are doing and I’m disappointed not to be at the same pace/mileage. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others but it’s difficult not to. I’ll sort myself out, look back on this moment and wonder why I was whinging.